6 Considerations For Startup Parental Leave (That Doesn’t Suck)
Your startup is your baby.
Sometimes people at startups have human babies too!
You want to do the right thing, but money is tight, parental leave policies can be daunting, and you’re still a teeny company!
I’ve been through 2 parental leaves at startups (2-for-2 as the first woman to go on leave), plus seen or supported many friends and colleagues.
I’ve shared tips on prepping for leave:
And tips for scrappy startups to support new parents:
Today we cover 6 key considerations for parental leave at startups (and beyond!)
Especially if:
you don’t have kids
you have kids but forgot everything about the first year (all hands go up 🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️)
you have kids but weren’t at a startup so it was totally different
Whether you’re the expecting parent or someone on your team has a baby on the way, here are 6 insights to help with planning and parental leave!
P.S. Unrelated But Fun!
Fresh, new Substack from Front Porch Venture Partners, a VC firm here in the Southeast. I had a great time as Joe Mancini’s first guest! Check it out here.
Okay, back to babies…
1. It’s Hard To Advocate For Yourself
As the COO and first woman to go on parental leave, I was in a weird spot.
I was trying to balance company interests with what would help my family.
I didn’t want to be seen as selfish, especially not when I was already feeling vulnerable in my career as a pregnant woman. (“Is she going to come back after the baby? Will she be the same?? What’s she even going to do when she’s back?”)
It was way harder to advocate for myself as the policy maker and recipient than it was for me to advocate for others!
#PROTIP
Understand the pros/cons of asking someone to design their own leave
Talk to other parents (outside your company) about their leave experiences and company policies
Ask other founders
Ask questions about leave proposals to understand the thought process, what was added or cut, and why
Be as generous as you can or suggest to make something better; people always remember when you did more than you had to, especially at pivotal life moments!
2. Different People Want Different Things
Some people want to be totally disconnected. Others get more stressed not knowing what’s going on at work.
There’s no “right” way to do parental leave.
Supporting what a parent actually wants (not what you think is best) is truly the most supportive thing!
#PROTIP
Be flexible where you can. It’s your startup superpower!
Don’t “leave-shame” or compare people’s leaves (or returns-to-work) on your team. Support everyone’s choices.
3. Things Change When The Baby Arrives
The best laid plans…get punched in the face by tiny humans!
Maybe it’s an unexpected c-section or maternal health issue. (Check out Mere Health! 😉)
Maybe a medical or lactation issue means more doctor appointments (aka a 3 hour undertaking with a baby 😂).
Maybe a new parent thought they could do a few hours per week but turns out that feeding a baby takes 8 hours/day.
(MATH: 8 feeds/day * 1 hr/feed * 7 days/week = 56 hours/week. Yep, it’s like a startup job!)
#PROTIP
Be open to plans changing. You’re good at this! #startups
If a new parent reaches out about a change in their leave plans, they’re probably already having a tough time. They will always remember your support.
4. Supporting Dads helps Moms
Excuse me while I get on my soapbox.
THE BEST WAY TO HELP WORKING MOMS IS TO GIVE WORKING DADS MORE LEAVE.
(Yes, talking about male-female relationships specifically because of this research. Same-sex marriages divide labor more evenly. )
When Dads have more leave, they get a chance to be the default parent.
Multiple benefits to this:
Moms return to work with less stress and more focus and energy to fully re-engage. Baby is home with Dad and no childcare logistics (yet).
Dads learn the details of baby schedules, feeding, sleep patterns, and all the other kid logistics. Making it easier to take more ownership going forward!
If you want more women to stay in the workforce long term (at your company or in general), think about the Dads too!
#PROTIP
Give Dads the same leave as Moms
Correct terms are: “birthing parent and non-birthing parent” or “primary caregiver and secondary caregiver”
Is now a good time to mention adoption, fostering, surrogacy and other ways that families grow?? Be inclusive in your language and planning!
Vincent Migliore made such a great point on LinkedIn, I had to add it here — flexibility about *WHEN* Dads or secondary caregivers can take leave is a key nuance to make this work!
5. Be Clear About Paychecks
I was surprised to find out my maternity leave paystub was based on last year’s W2 and not my current salary (which can vary wildly at a high growth startup).
Not a fun surprise tbh. 🙃
It wasn’t the company’s fault. It was how the short term disability was paid out. I had assumed and didn’t confirm. ALWAYS CONFIRM!
#PROTIP
Help expecting parents get specifics about their pay before going out
Start the process several months prior because it may take a while, especially for commission-based roles, if they’re the “first,” or it’s administered by a third party (like short term disability provider).
6. Return-To-Work Matters Too!
You know what’s harder than parental leave and newborns?
Working full-time with a tiny baby!
Daycare, doctor appointments, feedings, cleaning bottles and pumps, nighttime wake-ups, and having no time to yourself…are all new things that parents are navigating when they return to work!
Not to mention finding time to bathe yourself, wear adult clothes (without spit up stains), and cook food.
Those are just the tactical items.
There’s also an emotional tsunami:
Can I still do good work?
Is my baby ok?
Am I doing the right thing?
How do I find the time to get it all done?
What the f do I wear because none of my clothes fit?? Do I really have to buy new clothes??!! Where can I buy a black muu-muu?? When do I have time to shop??? (Insert Fashivly 😂)
Often the hardest time with an infant is the transition back to work.
#PROTIP:
Schedule flexibility is HUGE — working from home, leaving early/arriving late to accommodate daycare schedules (or spend more daytime hours with your baby!), or heading out in a hurry to get a sick kid.
If a woman is breastfeeding, she may need to pump (~3x/day for 30 minutes) during the workday — in addition to the other new responsibilities and logistics listed above. CDC has a great write up.
When in doubt → meals.
Remember: it’s not forever!
When someone is having a baby, it’s a great time to be a little more patient, flexible, and generous.
A great performer before a baby will be a great performer after a baby too!
It may take an adjustment and a little time but they’ll be back.
If you’re wondering who on your team is absolutely destrominating their priority list…follow the goldfish crumbs to the desk of a working parent!
Necessity breeds efficiency!
What have you seen work well for parental leave at startups? Any advice for expecting parents at startups? If you had a baby while at a startup, what do you wish you would have known?
Thanks for sharing. Very relatable.
I'm here for this topic! Another great resource is Parently.com founded by Allison Whalen. It is helping companies and individuals better prepare for leave and return of parents within their organizations.